To anyone out there who may be contemplating suicide: As a mom to someone who has died by suicide, I beg you DON’T DO IT! I know you may feel like your life is not worth living, but it truly is. There is nothing in this world that is so wrong or so bad that would warrant you to take your own life. No matter what burden you think you are, or what trouble you think you are in, I’m telling you, taking your life is not the answer. If you’re depressed, under a great deal of stress, or have a chemical imbalance of some sort, you must know that you may not be thinking clearly. Your thoughts may very well be exaggerated or altered because of that depression, stress, or chemical imbalance.
You may be feeling that if you died no one would really care. But people do care about you- really! If you are suffering from a mental health issue, sometimes the chemical imbalance, or whatever the cause of your mental health issue, may be blocking you from feeling how many people really care about you and may be distorting your concept of how much they care. You have to just trust that you may not be seeing things as they really are right now and reach out for help.
Sometimes you just need time for your situation to change. What seems like a horrific set of circumstances right now will most likely not be as bad with a little space. Time has a way of healing. Time passes and things change. Stressful situations very often resolve themselves as time goes on. Other times you need more than time, you need professional help.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, reach out for help right away. Don’t try to handle it by yourself. The fact that you are having thoughts of ending your life is enough to tell you that you need help right now. Go to a family member or friend and tell them that you are having thoughts of hurting yourself and need help. If you don’t have anyone in your life to turn to, then call a suicide hotline number and talk to someone who can assist in getting you help. The national suicide hotline number is 1-800-273-8255. You will be connected with someone who cares, and they will give you resources so you can learn what treatment options are available to you. Once you go to a professional, they can help you decide which treatment is right for you. Prescription medications and different therapies are available.
People who take their own lives often do so because they think they are a burden to their family and believe their family would be better off without them. Well, take it from someone who is a mom to someone who committed suicide, the burden that you think you are now is NOTHING compared to the burden your family would have if you took your life. Your family, like all other suicide-survivor families, would have to carry the weight of your suicide every waking moment. It is unbelievable suffering. It’s a mortal wound that each member of your family must live with day in and day out. Whatever you think you are putting your family through absolutely pales in comparison to what they will suffer and have to go through if you take your own life. And if they truly are going through ups and downs with your issue, whatever it may be, trust me, they would much rather walk with you down that path and try to help you than have to live life without you in it. I have talked to many suicide-survivor families, and they all say that the pain of missing their loved one is much greater than anything they went through when that family member was alive – and they would give anything to have their loved one with them again.
If you go to your family members with your thoughts and they are having a difficult time understanding your concerns, then perhaps you would want to show them the Nick’s Network of Hope website (nicksnetworkofhope.org) where they can link to many helpful websites, including national organizations and resources, to help educate them on topics like depression and suicide. Show them our Family Letter so they can see what our family went through. It may give them some insight, hope and ideas for a plan of action to help you.
There are no take-backs or do-overs if you take that final action. Suicide is dark and final. Take a deep breath and trust that you are not a burden, even if right now you think you are. Reach out and get help. Choose life. God Bless You.
Founder of Nick’s Network of Hope.org