What is Asperger’s?
The DSM manual is the common resource clinicians use to make psychological diagnoses. Until 2013, Asperger’s was a stand alone diagnosis. The most recent version, the DSM-5, lists this disorder, not as Asperger’s, but as one of three levels of autism. It is on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum and has different names: high-functioning spectrum disorder (ASD), autism with low support needs, and Level 1 autism diagnosis with milder autism traits. However to avoid confusion, many clinicians still refer to people who are on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum as having Asperger’s. We will do the same on this page and the accompanying Get Help page because our content is specifically about individuals on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum.
People with high-functioning Asperger’s often excel in subjects such as math, science, computer science, music, and linguistics. They often have an above average IQ and a deep focus for their particular interests. This disorder, however, causes problems in picking-up on and interpreting social cues, causing some Aspies to stand out as appearing “different, quirky, or awkward.” They function well enough within society to disguise the fact they suffer from a true mental health issue. Consequently, people often do not “cut them any slack” for having a disorder, and these Aspies are held to the same social standards and judgments as the rest of society, leading to bullying and ostracizing. Aspies are like ducks on water. From the surface, ducks appear to glide along, but underneath they are paddling non-stop to stay afloat. High-functioning Aspies often go undiagnosed for years, or completely, because their disorder is not obvious, yet they struggle greatly. (For example, Nick of Nick’s Network of Hope was first told he might have Asperger’s when he was 18. Prior to that, his parents never heard of Asperger’s. Learn more about his story in our book Saving Ourselves from Suicide—Before and After by Linda Pacha).
Towards adulthood, many Aspies tend to blend in better because they become more adept at learning social cues and learn more socially acceptable behaviors. However, for some of these high-functioning Aspies, they are unable to assimilate with society over time. After years of being bullied, their feelings of isolation and rejection intensify. They begin to perceive being left out of conversations and activities as personal rejections. As these rejections stack-up, some Aspies may begin to develop suicidal thoughts.
What can be done? We, as a society, need to educate ourselves about Asperger’s and be more empathetic when we see someone who appears to be quirky or slightly awkward. We must consider the possibility of Asperger’s and remind ourselves it is a true mental disorder, causing day to day struggles and frustrations with most social interactions. Equipping ourselves with this knowledge and understanding, we can invite Aspies into our social circles and embrace them for who they are—and hopefully appreciate their uniqueness. Let’s begin to educate ourselves by examining seven of the most common traits high-functioning Aspies may possess:
1. Social Awareness Difficulties
Aspies often are unable to pick up on social cues. They may struggle to understand jokes, show an inappropriate emotion for a situation, or fail to show an emotion like laughing or crying when a situation warrants. They often take things literally. For example, when someone jokes with them about something, they may take them quite literally and take offense, sometimes causing them to lash out in defense. This can cause conflicts with peers.
Someone with Asperger’s may make comments inappropriate for a given situation, or they may continue a conversation past a socially acceptable point, unaware of social “cues” given by those uncomfortable or disinterested in the conversation. This lack of awareness of another person’s feelings is not intentional rudeness.
2. Intense Interests
Aspies tend to focus intensely on specific areas of interests. As children, they may be laser-focused on trains, cars, airplanes, dinosaurs, buildings, rocks, astronomy, or clocks, for example. If any of their peers may have a similar interest, the Aspie child’s focus is far more intense. For the high-functioning Aspie who has an above average IQ, they dive into their topic of interest very deeply. It is quite impressive to parents, teachers, and other adults; however, to their child peers, the young Aspie’s intensity and passion can become off-putting, causing their peers to want to distance themselves. As a result, the Aspie child can begin feeling AND becoming socially isolated from friend groups. The Aspie child often begins to develop social anxiety from being left out of friend group conversations and activities, feeling ostracized.
3. Difficulties Making Eye Contact
Individuals with Asperger’s often have difficulty making eye contact with others. This can add to the Aspie’s social problems by making them appear disinterested in conversations and standoffish. The problem with lack of eye contact can be improved with practice and patience. For example, the parents of a young Aspie, or even a spouse or friend of an older Aspie, can help them practice this skill.
4. Physical Movement
At a young age, the hand-eye coordination of some high-functioning Aspies can be developmentally delayed. As Aspies mature, they may have stilted movements, being stiff, self-conscious or unnatural. For example, their gate (walking) can be somewhat stiff.
5. Sensory Input Sensitivity
Some Aspies may be overly sensitive to light and sound. Pay particular attention to reducing the noise level in an Aspie’s environment. For example, lower the volume on music and television. Understand when he or she may not want to go to a music concert or feel uncomfortable in a large crowd. Aspies do best in a low-key environment where they feel like they have more control of their surroundings and they are not overly stimulated.
6. Need for Sameness, Repetition, and Order
Some individuals with Asperger’s have difficulties with life’s unpredictability and changes. Sameness, repetition, and order help Aspies feel safe because they feel more in control of their environment. It is helpful to keep young Aspies on a schedule and stick to a “routine,” especially as they are learning how to read social cues and cope with their differences.
7. Difficulties Making Friends
For all the reasons stated above, it is often very difficult for a person with Asperger’s to make friends, making them feel lonely and isolated. It cannot be emphasized enough how painful it is for the Aspie when they are left out of activities, conversations, and friend groups by their peers time and time again. They can feel personally rejected again and again. This can be devastating to their feelings of self-worth and sense of belonging in the world and can cause social anxiety and, in extreme cases, even suicidal thoughts.
**Go to our High-functioning Asperger’s Get Help Page for more information about support and treatment.**